The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

04/24/2010

Well a lot has changed since my last post... I'm single again... actually I have been single for almost a year now. (even though at some points I said I wasn't) She stopped talking to me. Not because she was mad at me. Not because she was falling out of love with me. And not even because she was cheating on me. But because she 'forgot' to talk to me... for over a month... W? T? F? I told her that since we live 1500 mile apart right now (her in NY going to school & me here struggling to find a job) if we don't communicate we literally don't have a relationship. And do you know what she said back? ... Nothing. Yet. That was a week ago. I told her I'm not going to wait any more. I'm 27 (going to be 28 in moth) and I want a relationship with someone who remembers me after they say they want to have a family with me... It's just... I mean I'm just so... confused/frustrated/upset/numb/blank/angry/disappointed/lonely/and, strangely, ready to move on. I guess I have been ready for a while now and didn't really know it. So for now I'll just take a deep breath and keep putting one foot in front of the other.



04/26/2010

I have one last chance to finely talk to her and ask her why... (yes she actually e-mailed me back) I don't know how it will go... I don't know how I want it to go...



04/29/2010

Turns out she had been hiding some troubling information from me. Her father (that her and her mom live with) is crazy and not in any good way. Long story short we broke up I think I made the right choice. That makes me sound like a bad guy bailing on a girl when he finds out she has some heavy stuff to deal with... That's not me at all she wont help herself, save herself... She said she wouldn't leave her mother in that environment because she has done so much for her. But by staying with her she is hindering herself and stopping her life from expanding past what it is. In the same conversation she said that she wasn't going to go back to school (something she has been extremely passionate about since I meet her) because she needs to take care of her mom but then she went on to say that she will go back to school when I used her not going as one (of many) examples of how this is effecting her life negatively. She said that she still was very much in love with me and didn't want our relationship to end but after hearing everything I had to say she said that she didn't see how it was possible. I told her that I have been exactly were she was in a bad place and not wanting to get out of it for any number of reasons hat would allow me to stay there. I even asked her to live with me and said that I would help her go back to school, help her send money back home to her mother, and it could save our relationship but most of all help her to get in a place where she is truly capable of helping her family. I that had to happen (or something close to that) or I couldn't be in a relationship out of self preservation. I told her I still loved her and that I will always be her friend no matter what but something had to change... She said no.



05/04/10

Blah...